Literary Magazine

Me? Me.

Will they like me?
Will I fit in?
Do I speak?
Do I stay silent?
Silent, a chronic people pleaser entering a new environment
High school, a mosaic of new experiences
New people, new classes, new teachers, but me?
It’s still me, the girl afraid to move to fast and fall
Fall, if I fall, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get back up
Embarrassment, the most terrifying prospect
Staring and laughing, a fate more terrible than death
I want to be me without worry, me without this anxious feeling but
but the excuses, I keep making excuses
Excuses to my future, excuses to my younger more vibrant self who
Desperately wants to shine through and show herself
Trapped, trapped in a shell of pretend
Pretend, must I pretend?
I ponder my life and think of taking a risk
Taking off the mask, speaking as loud as I want to,
Laughing, even if it isn’t very graceful, I’m found
Found friends, found talents, found me
I found me! New school, new opportunities
I view opportunities as open doors not as what can go wrong
I’ve grown, like a plant in good soil I have blossomed
If they don’t like me, I’ll be ok
Fitting in is the least of my worries
I speak when I have something on my mind
I listen to others and take in the beauty of this mosaic
I have become everything I was meant to be.